OUR RATING:
Welcome to Lions Led By Donkeys, the podcast where military history meets the kind of dark humor you’d expect from veterans who’ve spent too much time questioning their life choices while standing watch. Hosts Joe and James, two former U.S. military members, have created what can only be described as the historically accurate version of every terrible military movie your uncle swears is “just like how it really was.”
Picture the History Channel if it stopped trying to convince you that aliens built the pyramids and instead focused on documenting the most spectacular military failures throughout history, all narrated by two guys who sound like they’re one energy drink away from starting their own revolution. Each episode dives deep into tales of military incompetence so profound they make your local DMV look like a well-oiled machine.
Lions Led By Donkeys has a unique ability to make you simultaneously laugh and despair for humanity while learning about historical events that somehow didn’t make it into your high school textbooks. Whether they’re covering the time Italy invaded Greece with paper tanks (yes, really) or explaining how the Soviet Union managed to lose a war to Finland despite outnumbering them approximately infinity to one, the hosts bring a perfect blend of historical accuracy and gallows humor to each story.
The show excels at breaking down complex military operations into terms anyone can understand, usually through increasingly absurd analogies. Imagine explaining World War I tactics using a Wendy’s drive-thru as a reference point, and you’re getting close to their level of educational creativity. The hosts have mastered the art of making military history accessible without dumbing it down.
The real magic happens when they dive into the personalities behind these military disasters. From generals who thought cavalry charges against machine guns were a brilliant idea to admirals who managed to lose entire fleets to their own incompetence, the show reveals the very human – and often very stupid – decisions that shaped military history. It’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, except the train is actually an entire army and the conductor is probably a nobleman who bought his commission.
But it’s the hosts’ military background, which allows them to point out exactly how and why certain decisions were monumentally stupid in ways that civilian historians might miss. Their commentary comes from a place of “we’ve seen this kind of institutional stupidity firsthand,” lending an extra layer of credibility to their increasingly exasperated explanations of historical military blunders.
The production quality might best be described as “charmingly DIY,” with sound effects that sometimes seem to have been recorded on a Nokia phone from 2003. But honestly, that just adds to the appeal. This isn’t a slick, corporate-sponsored history podcast – it’s more like eavesdropping on two incredibly knowledgeable history buffs at a bar, if those history buffs had actually served in the military and had a particularly dark sense of humor.
By the end of each episode, you’ll have learned something new about military history, questioned several life choices (mostly those made by historical figures), and probably laughed at things you feel slightly guilty about finding funny.
Lions Led By Donkeys manages to be educational, entertaining, and occasionally concerning – much like the military operations they cover. Well worth a listen.
Where to listen to Lions Lead By Donkeys
Episodes.fm | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Overcast | Pocket Casts | Castro
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