OUR RATING:
Nothing says “romantic date night” quite like dissecting the gruesome details of someone’s untimely demise with your beloved. Hosts Payton and Garrett have discovered the secret to marital bliss: weekly discussions about psychopaths, serial killers, and the creative ways humans have found to dispose of each other throughout history. It’s couples therapy, but with more stabbings and significantly fewer breakthrough moments about communication patterns.
This podcast’s charm lies in its delightfully unbalanced dynamic. Payton arrives armed with research, facts, and intellectual investment in the cases, while Garrett brings… well, Garrett brings himself. He’s that friend who asks “but why didn’t they just call the police?” during every horror movie, except he’s asking it about real murders that happened in 1981 before cell phones existed. His contributions often feel like watching someone try to solve a Rubik’s cube with oven mitts, endearing in its futility, yet essential to the experience.
Particularly entertaining is Garrett’s unwavering confidence in his ability to survive any murder scenario. According to his expert analysis, every victim simply failed to employ basic Garrett-logic, which apparently involves being naturally suspicious of everyone and possessing the situational awareness of a Navy SEAL. Never mind that these cases often involve victims who were trained professionals, experienced outdoorsmen, or people who took reasonable precautions, Garrett would have simply “known something was up” and handled things differently.
The show’s format is such: Payton tells the story while Garrett interrupts with questions that range from insightful to “did he just ask if the murder happened because Mercury was in retrograde?” There’s something comforting about this predictability, like a true crime security blanket where you know exactly when Garrett will derail the narrative to share his theories about proper home security or wonder aloud why people trust strangers with rides.
Payton deserves particular credit for maintaining her sanity while explaining complex criminal cases to someone who occasionally seems surprised that bad things happen to good people. She’s developed the patience of a kindergarten teacher crossed with a forensic investigator, managing to keep the narrative thread intact despite constant interruptions about whether the victim should have simply “trusted their gut” more effectively.
The cases themselves run the gamut from well-known murders to obscure local crimes, though the duo has a particular fondness for stories where the killer’s downfall involves spectacularly poor planning. There’s a certain schadenfreude in listening to Garrett react to criminals who get caught because they googled “how to dispose of evidence” or left incriminating receipts in their cars. His faith in criminal incompetence is both touching and concerning.
Perhaps the most unintentionally hilarious aspect is how the podcast has essentially become a weekly showcase of Garrett’s survival fantasies. Every episode transforms into an inadvertent seminar on “How Garrett Would Have Avoided This Murder,” complete with detailed explanations of his superior instincts and foolproof safety protocols. It’s like listening to someone narrate their own action movie, except the movie is about other people’s tragedies and the action hero is a guy who probably checks his locks three times before bed.
The show works precisely because it doesn’t take itself too seriously while still respecting the victims and their families. Payton provides the gravitas and research while Garrett provides the comic relief and occasional profound misunderstanding of human nature. Together, they’ve created something that feels like eavesdropping on a couple’s couch conversation about murder.
“Murder With My Husband” is both true crime entertainment and an accidental study in relationship dynamics. If you can embrace the chaos of Garrett’s commentary and appreciate Payton’s heroic efforts to maintain narrative coherence, you’ll find yourself oddly invested in this weekly ritual of matrimonial murder discussion. Just don’t expect to learn any actual survival skills.
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